Pointless
by teal duck
Summary: Clarinet abuse, gardening, a squealing Itachi, tuba murder! And all of this adds up to absolutely nothing. Pure crack! Really short so if you feel like a quick laugh-probably at authors expense-check this out! Lame to the extreme!


Pointless by tell me somethin' please + Duck (written in five minutes driven by cabin fever, too much sugar on an empty stomach and complete and utter boredom.

Enjoy.)

Tell me somethin' please's Note: I'm not getting paid for this. In fact I'm getting mugged right now ;)

Duck's Note: yes, yes we're not middle aged Japanese men/women…

TN: which sucks!

DN: …or Nintendo and so in no way own or make money off of the characters used in this fic.

DN: OK, so… this isn't real this is just us messing around because… we can :)

TMSP's Note: Yeah! So…Ummmm…Awesome!

DN: Yeaaaaahhhhh! Let's do this!

TN (T): WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO!

(DN: If you haven't figured it out yet this is all just to increase page count - _ -)

TN: NO! *bleep* you!

DN: *censored* to you too :D

TN: (says too many swears to count) :P

DN: . . . OK before this ruins our friendship, on with the story! (Drabble, whatever)

Naruto was beating Sasuke with a clarinet, which most days would be weird. But not today, for some reason everybody accepted it.

Anyway, as Naruto was beating him with his clarinet Sasuke slowly came to realize that they were in the old Uchiha compound. At that exact same moment Naruto noticed that there was a garden nearby. He loved gardening! So he tossed his clarinet over his shoulder (which unfortunately hit a rising-from-the-dead Zabuza, killing him on impact).

Sasuke lay where he was, momentarily stunned by the passing events and confused as to when Naruto had gotten a clarinet? At least he hadn't been playing it *shudder*. As Naruto was bounding away to his green heaven and Sasuke was just lying there, Itachi was picking his nose.

"Brother!" Sasuke cried from his place on the ground (why is he still there?) "When did you get here?" Again, people would have normally found this kindness weird but today was an exception.

Itachi dropped the offending finger, quickly wiping it on his robe. "I must have been here the whole time being as they have forgotten to write in my entrance." (D + TMSP scowl)

Suddenly a massive bandaged sword came out of nowhere and thumped Sasuke over the head. Itachi squealed out in terror as the attacker, one Hoshigaki Kisame, was hit in the head by a clarinet. Who could have done such a thing, Itachi thought, since he had seen Naruto throw the clarinet away from himself earlier. Since he had been there THE WHOLE TIME.

"It was me," a new voice said. They all turned to see Link standing there pulling a tuba out of his magical endless pocket. Link for some reason threw the tuba through a window and silently pulled out his orcana and walked into the mist while playing it.

And a thousand miles away a panda said to another panda, "Hey dude, pull my finger."

To which the other panda exclaimed, "Holy *bleep* a talking Panda!"

- And back at the Uchiha complex. -

"What does that have to do with anything!" Itachi exclaimed. "That's completely pointless!"

To which the miraculously recovered Sasuke replied, "Exactly."

But then, all of a sudden A SERPENT JUMPED OUT!

(inside joke)

"AHA HA HA HA!" cackled Orochimaru as his sword sliced toward Sasuke's face. "I will have your body!" (song "One way or another" starts playing).

Suddenly the massive Totsuka Blade stabbed into Orochimaru. Again he cackled, "You think such a puny attack can take the likes of me down…"

Suddenly a strange feeling overtook him. Orochimaru gasped, toppling over.

"What just happened?" Naruto asked, chewing on a carrot (yeah, now he comes). Everybody shrugged, dismissing it and went to have a tea party, 'cause it was that kind of day.

No one noticed Cain and Riff walking away in the shadows…

TN: If you didn't get that, he was poisoned.

DN: And you need to read Godchild/Count Cain series.

TN: yeah.

DN: and the pandas are actually sausages but since sausages can't talk we decided to make it pandas (yep).

TN: …my real name is…! *Duck clamps hand over mouth* murf nurfer.

DN: Moose sniffer?

END


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